Just Presense

I spent the evening with a rather beautiful friend. I find her to be one of the most unique people in my life. She clearly claims to be an introvert and quickly becomes overwhelmed by the commotion of too many people. Particularly those who are very imposing or seem to take over a room. At first, it seemed to me that she would run away from those situations. Too many people...too intense of a moment and she seemed to be gone. And they weren't hard moments of life but moments where it seemed that people were fighting for attention...and everyone was getting lost in it. At first I did not understand, I figured I am an extrovert and she was an introvert and that was one of those weird things introverts do. Yet, as I have come to know her and just allowed her to be...I have found that I deeply respect this tendency. She has never mentioned this but I see it as a way that she is standing up for herself. She is ok with who she is and she isn't going to fight for the attention. She won't give in to the pressure to be something she isn't. So rather than fight it she simply steps away. I never feel judgment on anyone else. Actually, I sometimes think she thinks she isn't strong enough...judging herself as having the problem but I think she is stronger than most. That she knows herself and takes the steps to protect who she is. Never judging and yet still loving.

She is full of love. She is constantly wanting to sit with people and listen. Actually, she is completely comfortable in silence. At least that has been my experience with her...we don't need to talk. We can just sit and a few words here and there but silence. I find it comfortable. I find it strong...observant. That is actually what I noticed most about tonight. How comfortable it was to just be with her. No demands...no judgments...no constant sound...just presense. I realized that she creates a large capacity for people in her life. That she creates space to just be with them. Not to analyze them or change them. Not to have them feed her but rather to just be and to love them. I find it beautiful...refreshing...and stunningly strong.

I would do well to learn from her.