Wrong side of the bed

So, I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I felt groachy (Sp?) all day. My dreams consisted of dreaming about budgets and I didn't want to dream about that even though I was asleep. So, I woke myself up to stop them. Then I started to think someone was trying to get into the complex or walking on my roof. The likelihood of someone walking on my roof or getting into the complex without disrupting all of the dogs or guards is not very high.

I have a tree with large acorns or something on them. In the middle of the night they will fall on the aliuminim roof making the loudest sound. It startles me a good one sometimes.

Today, I heard the first reports from the program managers on what they think they can do with the budgets. I was very impressed. The first one did not go the smoothiest but I think our process of extracting the information was not very good. We profected on the second one. Overall, the guys did a great job of presenting their visions and finding a way to fit everything they wanted to do within a budget. I will do more analysis tonight or tomorrow but I was glad they took what I said and went with it. The orphan care program is funded well by individual donors who sponsor orphans so their budget was good. The agriculture is funding is a little less stable and less money is available so the budget was a lot tighter and harder to figure out. I still have a lot of work to do as I pull them all together but it was a great first report.

Tonight, I sat with Bob and we chatted about the book the Shack and where we are in life. I told him about a recent house church experience where the guys were talking about wanting to make an impact...to leave a wake. I hate when people push for that. The reason is because no matter how hard I try I always fail in someway. Something doesn't work or isn't the best it could be. Someone always could do it better. So, if I wrap myself up in what impact I make...if my significance is there than I am just setting myself up for failure. Rather I want to be in the wind...the wind of where God is leading. To just be with him. To be surrounded in what he is doing and enjoy the relationship. Than my significance is not wrapped up in what I do but rather just in being with him or just because he says I am significant. That is one of those things that I have been struggling with for years. Anyway, the Shack talks a little about the wind and the Holy Spirit as the wind...which is how we got to that subject. Bob is a cool guy. He is way intense and it is exhausting sometimes but the depth and sincerity with which he operates I would want to have in my court any day. He doesn't do much half way. He is filled with an intense love for people. He isn't into the "christian" answers....He is into Jesus. I am often inspired by him. Although, he loves all these very intense movies that inspire about justice and fighting for noble causes....or basically that inspire him. I have no idea how he can watch so many of them. I start to get depressed after a while. He has been a great encouragement to me that I am going in the right direction and that I am doing so much more than just writing a budget. I really like that I am fighting for justice and the Africans in the cloak of finances.