Rollercoaster Part 2

So, I have wrapped up everything in Berberati. It ended up being fairly successful. At least as far as I can tell. We were able to set up a new way of reconciling items and a new way of filing and tracking items. Hopefully the guys understood what I said and will be able to complete it successfully. We will see.

I thought I would be dreadfully lonely here. About half way through the week here, I had a bit of a session of just feeling tired and lonely. The day off was great for me to just relax and take time to just sit in the presense of God...a meditation of sorts. I don't always understand it but a certain level of peace and patience has surrounded me. I think I will take the rest of my time in CAR and be sure to have moments to just sit. I learn alot about myself in the moments of stillness. I feel like I am able to release things. Of course, I know there is a long way to go but when I am able to be still I feel more balanced...like I am operating in God's hand. I recognize that God doesn't fight for our attention. He just sits there and waits it is quite beautiful. I hope to be able to full grasp how God views me. I think part of my struggles with loneliness is because I struggle to truly love myself and I think that part of that is because I don't see or believe the depth of God's love. Yet, I do...all in the same moment. I want to truly operate from that place of love. I feel like I am making absolutely no sense whatsoever. Oh, well...this is my blog and my place to ramble.

Tomorrow morning I wake up at 7 and get another 10 hour crazy rollercoaster ride on the roads to Bangui. Than 4 more days and a flight home. I hope that my stomach remains firm and strong. In October when I first came to Africa, it was actually the trip back that was the worst...that was when my stomach just lost it. I think it was because I started on the rollercoaster ride whereas when you come from Bangui to Berberati you start with paved roads and then transition to the rollercoaster. I have pills so...let us pray these natural and unnatural (I have both) pills work wonders. I am also driving with 4 Africans...little side note on Africans...they don't always smell the best. So, I hope the confined space isn't too overwhelming stench. Always an adventure when traveling in a 3rd World Country....I think God must be laughing.